Embrace Self-Awareness and Reject Self-Absorption

There is a difference between self-awareness, self-development and self-absorption. In my experience leaders who display a desire to learn, grow and expand their self-awareness gain clarity about who they are being as leaders and how they impact those around them. Leaders who are self-absorbed are totally pre-occupied with themselves: their feelings, their interests or how situations impact them only; sometimes to the point of being incapable of thinking about anyone other than themselves. Self-absorbed individuals do not usually make good, responsive, resilient and enduring leaders. In his book "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships" Daniel Goleman writes:

“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”

In my 15 years coaching leaders, I've seen firsthand the potential and power of a leader focused on personal growth, self-awareness and impact. And, I've worked with clients struggling to survive working with a self-absorbed leader.

We can choose and develop emotionally intelligent leaders who strive to learn and grow in their roles continually; who take responsibility, admit their mistakes, and inspire others.