Building Resiliency
"Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth." from the American Psychological Association article: "Building Your Resilience."
Healthy resilience may be associated with longevity and improved life satisfaction. Some people are naturally resilient others of us need to work at it, the good news is we can improve and build our resilience. The techniques for building resilience are also linked to greater wellness and happiness, and potentially self-confidence.
Building mindfulness practices such as gratitude, meditation and journaling is one part of building resilience and the focus of this article. Other activities that support increased resilience and well-being include self-care (diet, exercise, sleep), social connections, hobbies and interests, goal setting and planning, and giving back.
Mindfulness: Gratitude
"Gratitude is a very powerful thing...the single strength that correlates the most to happiness is gratitude. Grateful people are naturally happy." Dr. Martin Seligman, author of “Authentic Happiness”
Expressing gratitude helps build resiliency and a simple practice of reflecting on a few specific things you are grateful for each day will focus your mind on the good stuff; it helps rewire our brains to be more positive and resilient. Think about the past 24 hours, what happened that you are grateful for? Reflect on the people you talked to, the things you did, your surroundings, projects, staff, clients, projects, belongings, environment, accomplishments; think about yourself, your strengths, talents, traits, values that you used.
In the past 24 hours, as of April 30, 2021, I am grateful for:
Having my daughter home again and our chats
The clients I served yesterday who inspire me with their courage, and brilliance (you each know who you are)
Aneesha, my marketing coordinator, who teaches me and gives me the courage to put myself out there through her insights in our daily conversations
All my colleagues and friends who responded to my social media posts yesterday, I was in awe and it was unexpected, I am just gaining the courage to really put myself out there – your reactions deeply touched me and inspired me; thank you
Kristi Stangeland and her “Spring Forward with Feng Shui” speaker series yesterday evening – I learned many new things and loved the meditation
I am very grateful for the amazing night’s sleep I had which I attribute to Kristi’s relaxing meditation
I now feel ready for the day!
Mindfulness: Meditation
The American Psychological Association defines mindfulness as "moment-to-moment awareness of one's experience without judgement". Building a mindfulness practice through activities such as meditation can help us connect to what we are feeling and experiencing in the moment and become intentional about what we want to feel and experience.
Meditation is a technique for practicing mindfulness, and you can do it in just a few minutes, or you can learn to extend the time you meditate if you want. Just a few minutes of stopping and stilling your mind and body will help you gain control of your thoughts and racing mind.
Try this right now:
1. Set a 5 min alert in your phone (so you won’t worry about time)
2. Sit comfortably
3. Breathe in and out slowly
4. Relax each muscle of your body starting at your feet and working up to your face muscles
5. Once the body scan is complete, focus on breathing in and out
6. As you notice thoughts come up, just acknowledge them and release them. You will continue to notice thoughts; you can’t stop thinking but you can control what you do with the thoughts. Let them go and come back to your breathing.
7. When the alarm goes off, take a moment to acknowledge yourself for meditating.
What did you notice during your meditation?
There is incredible power in meditating and stilling the mind. Meditating on important decisions, work or personal challenges, or other situations that consume mental and emotional energy, can help you find perspective and clarity.
Mindfulness: Journaling
A practice of writing in a journal on a regular basis can help improve resilience. Writing that reflects on your experiences builds self-awareness, cultivates a learning mindset, and creates an opportunity to express gratitude. Use your journal to write the things you are grateful for. Write out your big goals and dreams for your life and write about what it will be like when you achieve those goals and dreams. Write about the things that worked and didn’t work and what you learned from each. Write about anything you want.
I invite you to try one, two or all three of these practices for a week or two, to learn if they make a difference in how you feel. Do it without judgement, if you miss a day, then just pick up the next, keep at it, find the rhythm that works for you.
"A resilient leader is a person who sees failures as temporary setbacks they can recover from quickly. They maintain a positive attitude and a strong sense of opportunity during periods of turbulence. When faced with ambiguity, a resilient leader finds ways to move forward and avoids getting stuck." Joseph Folkman, Forbes, "New Research: 7 Ways to Become a More Resilient Leader”